Enough with the Beach Ready Body

There is nothing that irritates me more than the concept of being “beach ready body”. From January onwards, every magazine, online retailer and store starts bullying you into getting into shape with their New Year, New You campaigns. Why do I need a new me? I liked last year’s me.

After a short respite between February and March, the bullying starts again this time they all want you to be beach ready. All I need to be beach ready is suntan lotion, a towel and some water. But I guess that’s just me.

When did we decide it was okay to ask women to stop eating, go on the craziest diets, and overall make us feel like if we don’t work out 3 times a week, and wear a size 4, we’re plus size and unhealthy? How is this a healthy idea?

I have struggled with weight my whole life. I hear that sentence a lot. And it is assumed that we mean: “I’ve been fat my whole life”. Turns out for most of us it means we’ve either struggled with a physical or mental health issue our entire lives. Don’t believe me? Ask around.

Up to the age of 32, I was beach body ready. I was also an undiagnosed Celiac, who lost weight

every day by never being able to assimilate nutrients in my body. I stopped eating if I was depressed, and made just about enough money to pay rent, food was a treat.

After being diagnosed with Celiac's disease, I switched to eating gluten free versions of bread, pasta, etc. Turns out doing that, plus by removing all gluten (that includes a whole lot more things than what fad gluten free people think – I’ll keep that rant for another post), makes you put on weight. And to top it off I lost my father.

Happiness makes you put on weight. Change makes you put on weight. Stress makes you put on weight. Stop being so hard on yourself and your body. As my granny used to say: ”A little bit of what you like does you good!” Moderation, that’s the trick. Knowing what makes you happy, keeps you healthy. That’s my moto.

Personally, I am winter body ready. I am never cold. That said I of course think my body is gross and I wish I had the dedication of some of my friends to get up and go to the gym. Thing is, I’ve tried that. Three years ago I moved to Seattle, I was on an extended tourist visa so was not allowed employment. In order to not lose my mind, I got a personal trainer. I don’t show up unless I am paying someone to yell at me! For 8 months, I exercised 2-3 times a week, and watched my food intake. Well, I built a shit ton of muscle, and a weightlifter body – not a beach body, in case you were confused. Oh and surprise, my weight went up.

In the last three years I have worn three clothing sizes. I’ve grown more and more unhappy with my shape. Life around me has become more stressful, with unexpected changes, and a bought of depression, all of which have definitely worsened all this. Knowing this, does help lessen the hatred, and I focus on my granny’s advice. Life is for enjoying!

So now what? It’s beach time, but according to the media and most, this body isn’t ready. To all of you who are experiencing the same feeling, say it with me: “Fuck you world, I say if I’m beach ready!”